I Hope

I hope, with all my heart, I never forget the way my little boy looked at me tonight while singing "I'm a Child of God" to him during bed time. He looked at me with such love and admiration and a touch of playfulness. He just sat there, looked up, and listened to me. Those beautiful deep ocean blue, almond shaped eyes are everything to me. I wanted to laugh because he was being such a sweet heart. Tonight was probably one of the easiest nights I've had putting him to bed.

I hope he always loves to laugh and play with me. I hope I never resent him. I hope he learns to be patient and kind. I hope he never loses that wonder and curiosity in his eyes. I hope. I hope. I hope.

Couch Potato

Leon loves to sit on the couch. It is one of the only times I can get him to really giggle with me. He also loves to watch the TV which for an almost 4 month old isn't a good thing. I hope you'll enjoy these photos of my little couch potato.

His monkey feet:

He was talking to me:

Funny boy:

I have a good husband

The last couple of weeks I haven't been getting to sleep as long as I'd like to. Leon keeps waking up around 6:00 or 6:30. This is just a little too early for mommy. Anytime past 7 and I'm fine but any earlier I just don't do too well. I've noticed the last few mornings that Leon wakes up right after Kyle gets in the shower. The shower and his bedroom (where his crib is) share the same wall. Last night I jokingly shared this note with Kyle and told him that he should start taking his showers at night.

Kyle had just so happened to take a shower last night after he finished weed eating.

This morning, I woke up at 7:00 to my little one crying. I was so happy that it was 7:00. After feeding and changing Leo, I went to the bathroom and saw that the shower wasn't wet and Kyle's towel was still neatly folded over the towel rack. He didn't take a shower. My sweet husband didn't take a shower (which is something he does ever morning) this morning just so I could get some extra sleep. Isn't that sweet! Giving up a morning shower is hard to do. I know.

I have such a good husband. I wish I could be just as good.

HOME

Well our house may not be even close to the way I want it but I still love it. Maybe because it is ours or maybe because it is the beginning of something wonderful. Who knows? I just know that I loved seeing the little duck and all her little ducklings run across our drive way and the baby bird follow it's cardinal mother as it was learning how to fly. I love to see our new rabbit friend, who Leon and I named Todd (because he looks like a Todd), in the front lawn every day. I love to take walks in our little neighborhood and see Tom the wild Turkey and Baxter the black & white cat (who likes to follow me around). I love to sit on the porch swing with Leon when there is nothing else to do.

It may not be just the way I want it yet but it feels like HOME. It feels good to be HOME.

Things did get better

So after I wrote my Tuesday post, the day did get much better. Leon and I met Kyle for lunch and then did some shopping. He was such a good boy the rest of the day. I think somehow he new that mommy needed a break. We went to Hobby Lobby and Gordmans. I found a cute pair of jeans for only $20.00 and some braclets at Gordmans which made me feel better. I guess there really isn't anything like retail therapy. It is just really bad on our budget ;) It helped time fly. I think I just needed to get out of the house. Leon was being so funny. I unhooked this car seat straps so that he could move around a little (he always acts like he is paralized when he is all straped in) and he just started wiggling all over the place. He almost wiggled himself out of the seat! When Kyle got home we took a walk. Here are some photos of Leon just smiling away. This is how sweet he was for mommy the rest of the day.

Determined Little Leo

This is a funny video of Leon determined to get his mouth on something (which happened, on this day, to be my face). It's good stuff. I'll never understand babies need to put everything in their mouth and their need to suck on everything. I couldn't stuff laughing when he was doing it. He really knows how to crack his mom up.

Plain Tired

Today has been one of those days so far. Today I'm

just

plain

tired.

I'm tired of not getting more than 4 hours of sleep at a time.
I'm tired of getting up too early.
I'm tired of not finding anything to wear.
I'm tired of wearing my hair up in a ponytail because I don't have the time or energy to do anything else with it.
I'm tired of my husband being gone.
I'm tired of not knowing what Leon needs.
I'm tired of being in this house.
I'm tired of this house not being the way I want it to be RIGHT NOW.
I'm tired of complaining, being unsatisfied, and just feeling like this.
Just plain tired.

I knew that being a mom wouldn't be easy. I just didn't think it would be as hard as much as it has been lately. Maybe it is just me. Maybe it is just my attitude. I'm not looking for anybody to feel sorry for me but I just need to get this off my chest. Hopefully things will get better today. I really need them to get better today.

There is nothing like...

1) Date nights with your husband. I love it when we can get out on our own like we did last night. We desperetly need more nights like that where we can just be a couple. Last night we went out to eat at Logan's. I actually got a steak and it was actually good. It was nice to be able to talk about some of our plans about the house, etc and not have 20 other things on our mind. I love my husband so much.

2) Shopping (and finding great bargins). Last night, we also went to Once Upon a Child so we could get Leon some badly needed summer pj's and outfits that actually fit. He still is too little for his 3-6 months (he is just filling out his 0-3 month clothes now) clothes. We bought a ton of stuff for only $30.00 and it all looked pretty much brand new. I love that place. I wish I had discoverd it before we bought 1/2 the stuff we've gotten for him. Leo and I also went to Kohls today and found some super cute shorts and polos that were on sale. I love shopping for baby clothes. It is too much fun.

3) Leon Smiling and Developing (and Napping-woohoo). It is getting so easy to make him smile. It used to take some real effort to get a big grin out of him but now it is nonstop. He is rolling over all by himself which I'm so excited about (I don't know why. It is just so dang cute). I think he really enjoys it too. He is getting such a little personality. I'm just in love and in utter awe of him. Oh, and he is finally taking good naps on HIS OWN. He has already been asleep for about an hour. Pure bliss. I was able to get some cleaning done yesterday. It felt sooo good.

What a goof ball of fun!

An Awesome Day

Considering that my husband won't be home until very late tonight, it was been an absolutley wonderful day. I woke up this morning with my baby boy in my arms and looking up at me with his beautiful blue eyes. He looked so content and so sweet. I love it when he is like that. He has been like that the last two mornings. It is a good start to the day. I've gotten a lot done today. I only have one more load of laundry to fold. I got dressed without grumbling about not having anything to wear (I finally did some clothes shopping). I played with Leo and he has happily entertained himself quite a bit today as well. We took a really long walk in the neighborhood across the street. I hadn't been over there so it was nice to get some new scenery. Leo fell asleep all by himself at nap this morning. We took a TWO HOUR nap together this afternoon. It was so nice. Leo has been all smiles today. I mean ALL smiles. He is so so sweet. I just love him. He also did something amazing. Take a look at this grand milestone:

HE ROLLS OVER! He just started rolling to his side this last week. We've been pushing him all the way over to help him. Today after I did, he was on his belly and then just rolled back on his back! I couldn't believe my eyes! I was so excited. He has gotten so strong just in these last couple of days. He is really pushing himself up. A week ago he could barely even lift his head for very long. Isn't he just amazing?

I hope you are having a great day too!

My Rant

After everyone's advice (which I thank you for), I did end up taking Leon to the doctor's office yesterday and the only real conclusion that was made is that Leon's doctor is an idiot. I know those are harsh words to say about someone, but I honestly didn't realize how stupid and unsensitive doctors can be until yesterday. Needless to say I'll be finding a new one.

I went in to this appointment having lots of questions and concerns I wanted to discuss with the doctor. I was prepared to talk about it too. I had a list. When she came in, she automatically started examing Leon and didn't even ask me what the problem was. I HAD to TRY to talk to her about it. I tried telling her that I thought he may be teething. All she said was that it was very unlikely and that babies don't teeth until they're 6th months old. She didn't even look at his gums. She probably sent a total of three minutes with us until she left and sent the nurse in to do an ear test. The whole time I was in utter shock that my son and I were being treated this way. I didn't know what to do. They said that Leo had a lot of build up in his ears and that they wanted to treat him as if he had an ear infection. I'm still puzzled. I can't believe I payed for such bad service. I talked to my dad today about it and he told me that I shouldn't have put up with that. I'm such a push over. Well, I'll tell you right now, never again!!!! I realize that I should have spoken up. We'll go back in three weeks to have his ears checked out again and that will be our last time. I plan on telling the doctor why we are leaving. You know, not once since we've been going to her has she ever asked us if we have any questions. NOT ONCE! She also doesn't listen. Not good qualities for a doctor, especially for a well known pediatric doctor in the Lafayette area. I realize it could have been a busy day for her but that doesn't rationalize any of it.

Well anyway, Leon is doing much much better. Yesterday was rough but he seems to almost be back to normal. I still don't know if he is teething but I guess sometimes you never know for sure. Hopefully I'll find a good doctor this time around. Thanks everyone for your comments. They were super helpful and although my doctor's visit was a bad one I'm grateful that I went.